Listen to “Erotic Pain” on Spreaker.
I can’t hear anybody else. I’m here. Can you hear me? I can hear you.
Excellent. Can you hear me? I can. Okay, good.
I was like, I can’t hear anybody else, because no one was talking. Nobody’s talking again. Nobody’s talking again.
Where’s that drink of the week, Miss Krista? Oh, well, right here. Give me just a second. It’s a good one, too.
It is a whiskey drink this week. I drink a whiskey drink. I drink a vodka drink.
Vodka drink. I drink a lager drink. I drink a cider drink.
And here it is, and it’s called Pain. And what this is… I mean, it’s whiskey, so… Oh, and it’s kind of got that bruised look to it. Oh, it does.
It’s two ounces of Barcones Texas Rye Whiskey, one ounce of blackberry syrup, half ounce of fresh lemon juice, topped with Sprite, and garnished with blackberries and cherries. Sounds good. And that’s a shake in a drink without the Sprite.
You shake everything except for the Sprite, you top it, and then you stir it gently. Outstanding. I love it.
I love it. Mayor Mott says, cheers to Pain. Yep.
And the song is Three Days Grace. Pain. It’s a good song.
I love that song. Yes, it is. Yeah.
Yes. Oh, Krista, you’re a bit of a rocker. If I used another whiskey in that, because I didn’t have that one, I mean, how much of a spanking do I get? Oh, I just put a brand on there that I used for that.
That’s all it is. It’s really good, though. I love the blackberries and the lemon.
It’s really nice. Oh, it’s a good drink. This is Bianca trying to get her Pain on, on the slide.
Look at that. Oh, I’ve got a very naughty girl. And I made it with the rye whiskey because of our lecherous Miss Hadley.
I protest the term lecherous, but I’m definitely Mistress Hadley. What? You’re not into the extremes? I believe you are. I bet you are.
It’s probably a semantic issue. Anyway, welcome, everyone, to Femdom Fridays. I’m Mistress Hadley, your benevolently malevolent dream dom, and you can find us live right here every Friday at 9 p.m. Eastern on the Enchantrix Empire Discord server.
But you must be at least 18 years or older to join us. Also, you can listen to the replay every Saturday on your favorite podcast platform. I’d like to thank everybody for being here.
We’ve got hello, one, two, three, John. Hello, Addie. Hello, Come Eating Man.
Hello, Callie the Sweet Girl. Hello, Miss Becky’s Butt Slut. Hello, Mayor Mott.
Hello, Prisoner Takei Marie. Hello, Sitting Bull. Good to see you again.
Hello, Tanya. 6-0-0-8-5. And welcome to the Girl Gang.
Good to have everybody back here this week. I see Miss Bianca starting to mischief in the comments section already. Today, we are going to be discussing the much-anticipated topic of erotic pain.
We will consensual. Everything just right up front. Everything that we’re talking about today is consensual, negotiated, risk-aware, informed, consensual kink.
Under that, we’ll be talking about the types of play or experiences that can involve erotic pain. How to prepare for them. Some little tips on what to focus on or look for while you’re playing with that.
And then aftercare. We’ll be talking to our mistresses to get some of their experiences. And if we’ve got time after all of the fantastic silliness, there might be a quiz.
So, with that said, let us jump right in. Erotic pain. And I want to, again, focus.
This is erotic pain. We’re not talking about dyspareunia or vaginismus, which is genital pain during or after sexual intercourse. This is about intentional varying degrees of sensation based on an erotic outcome.
So, actually, we’re going to switch this around a little bit. And I would like to talk to the mistresses first who have not even introduced themselves. Let’s do that.
I’m so excited to talk about erotic pain. I don’t care who you are. I don’t care who you are.
I don’t care who we are. I don’t care who anybody is. He’s like, who are you? I don’t care.
Do you like pain? Yeah? Great. Can I hurt you? Oh, you better believe that’s a padlock. Can I interest you in some pain? You can interest me in an introduction.
Ms. Becky, would you please let us all know who you are and where we can find you? Sure. I am Ms. Becky. You can find me on my personal blog at Intelligent Phone Sex Calls.
You can find my other podcast, Kinkology, The Psychology of Kink, which explores the fascinating intersection between kink and psychology. New episodes drop every Friday. And you can also find me on Twitter at Ms. Becky and Chance.
And you can always give me a ring at 1-800-601-6975. I love it. Thank you so much.
Now I’m going to be tempted to use a completely different phone number just to fuck with people. I know. We have many numbers.
All roads lead to Rome. Yes. All roads lead to the Enchantrix.
Harper, hit us with your digits. That’s what you got. I am Harper.
I am the host of the adult sex education podcast, Whore School. It airs out live on Sundays at 11 to midnight Eastern, 8 to 9 Pacific, happening here in the Enchantrix Empire Discord server. Discord.gg slash Enchantrix Empire.
It’ll bring you right over to us. I have a blog, FetishPhoneSexBlog.com. The most recent post is a part two, so it’s a continuation, of the tale of The Wife of a Preacher Man, which was inspired by the song The Son of a Preacher Man. Because I got it stuck in my head one day, so I had to turn it into erotica.
And this particular installment is the wife of the preacher man becomes the dominatrix of the preacher and he becomes a sissy cuckold. Because it abuses me. It made me laugh, therefore I had to write it.
Let’s see. I try to keep the WhoreSchool.net blog up to date. I have failed.
I’ve been doing a lot of writing lately. I think in the past week I’ve written at least 5,000 words. Don’t worry.
You’ll find out what I’ve been doing soon. Soon, darlings. If you were interested in talking to me about whatever it is that happens to blow up your skirt, you can email me, Harper at EnchantrixEmpire.com You can find me on Blue Sky, Harper Enchantrix.
You can find me on Twitter, Enchantrix Harper, no I. And you can always give me a call, 800-601-6975. Told you it’d be a different phone number. Wait, that was the same phone number.
Exactly. 7259. How’s that one? There we go.
There’s so many. Professional squirrel herder. There’s a lot.
We’re everywhere. Delightful. I see Jizzhead has joined us.
Welcome to the craziness. Jizzy. Are you still in the bristle wicker? Next we have… Look at that profile picture, too.
Love it. Alright, moving along. Mistress Sasha, please regale us with all of your information.
Well, I am Mistress Sasha, and I’m going to tell you right now that is spelled S-A-S-C-H-A. You’ll need to know that for all of my coordinates. But first, my website is kinkblogger.com and I have just posted a post about the tickle fetish.
So you might like to check that one out, out of curiosity, even if you’re not into tickling yourself. Other than looking at my blog, you can also find me. My email is sasha at enchantrixempire.com You can find me on X-slash-Twitter as SashaEnchants on BlueSky as SashaEnchants on EnchantrixEmpire as Sasha and on Discord as LDWSasha and I will post all of that right in the chat for anybody who didn’t get it.
I got you, girl! Goddess Michelle’s already all over that. Excellent. You can call to speak to Miss Sasha at 800-376-0207.
Thank you. I’m helping. Uh-huh.
Yes, indeed. Very helpful, Harper. Harper the helper.
If you were a monkey, you’d be a helper monkey. Those are useful. Yay! Mistress Everly, would you like to tell us about the beauty that is you? We cannot hear you.
You’re muted. If you’re talking, you’re muted. Lovely.
Did you bring her up to be able to talk, Harper? She’s talking now. Uh… All right. Sure.
Let’s jump all the way down to Miss Bianca, who I know can speak. And please make sure that Mistress Cat is also able to speak, if you could. Mistress Bianca, you’re up.
Hello, I am Miss Bianca, a cock dom over there on kinkyphonefantasy.com. I am Miss Bianca and my SS Bianca on X and Bianca Enchantrix on Blue Sky. I’m here in Discord quite often. I’m always around, LJWBianca.
And please email me and we can get something set up however you’d like by email, by chat, by phone call. Thank you. Love it.
Uh… Miss Krista. Well, hello, everybody. This is Miss Krista.
And you can find me at phonesexfetishblog.com. You can also find me on X, Krista Enchants and Ms. Krista on Blue Sky MZ. Krista. And Saturday nights, you can find me on Kinks and Drinks.
And this week we’re going to be doing Fuck with a Twist. And I’m not going to say what the twist is until the show. So, join me.
And you can also call me at 1-800-505-1678. So how about that for a new number? Miss Everly should be able to speak if she has left and returned. The new role will work.
It’s what I get for trying to be cute and looking up all the phone numbers. There she goes. I still don’t have them all.
Oh, and one other thing. You got one more week of Mistress of the Month. Cash in on that.
Get that five free minutes with me. Get your free minutes. Get your free minutes.
Thanks, Mayor Mott. Dropping some love for Miss Krista in the comments. Love it.
Yes. Let’s see. Goddess Michelle.
Yes. Yes. Well, I am your Melodic Masturbatrix.
Well, Goddess Michelle. You can find me over on TheMasturbatrix.com. My most recent post is about our Pass the Penis sensation that we’re doing right now until the end of summer. So you should definitely go check that out.
You can also find me on X.com at T-H-E-E. The Divine Me. You can also find me on Blue Sky at TheMasturbatrix.BSKY.social. I am also our social media manager of sorts.
And I will drop all of the links so you can follow us for Femdom Fridays on here as well. Love it. Thank you for dropping all the links for all of us.
It is much appreciated. Absolutely. I’d like to thank Mott and Krista because I noticed that that was a thing that they did like a while ago.
So I kind of picked up on it. And I just want to give credit where credit’s due. Thank y’all for that.
Y’all are beautiful. Thank you. The Sitting Bull called you a Manajatrix.
Somebody else say that word. Manajatrix? I like that. Manajatrix.
You’re stealing that. I love it. All credit to you for that Sitting Bull.
I’m going to use that. Thank you. Miss Everly, you should be able to speak now.
Could you share with us your glory and loveliness? Who are you talking to? Miss Everly? I saw the mute button go away. But we still can’t hear you, Everly. Not sure why.
I don’t know if you’re muted someplace else or not. Let’s go to Mistress Cat and then we will try one more time with the lovely Everly. Mistress Cat, would you care to share yourself with us? There you go.
We can hear you. Yay! Hello. You can find me at MistressCatLDW on all the things.
Working on my blog still. That one’s still in the hopper. Hopefully everyone will get to see a little bit more of my writing soon.
I was just sneaking over here. I’m actually on the clock right now. I wanted to eavesdrop and listen between calls.
Love it. That’s how I ended up here. I’ll just look and see what they’re doing.
It’ll be fun. It is fun. It was so fun I stayed.
I love it. Let’s see. Miss Everly, third time’s a charm.
Take a crack at it. Her little static, but that was it. Can you hear me? There you are, yes.
Just turn it way up. Can you hear me? There she is. Your voice is lovely.
Thank you. I don’t know what to say because this is my first time. I’m nervous.
Long time, Mistress. There’s my collar. I don’t know.
I hang out up in the sky. I don’t know. I just started it, so I don’t know where my handle is, but I will get it at a later date.
Usually on Enchantress Empire, that’s where I like to hang out. You can find me there. Wonderful.
Yes. You guys should all join. Sorry, go ahead.
Harper, give Everly a phone number, would you? I caught Harper while Harper was busy. 800-601-6975. You’re going to have to use the same one as the rest of us.
President of KMRE offered us 867-5309. Thank you. We don’t have a Mistress Jenny here right now.
1-800-730-9391. How about that one? There we go. 800-356-6169.
Come on. Pick up your phone and start dialing. You’re going to get us eventually.
877-496-0255. There’s hundreds of them. All roads lead to Rome.
There we are. I know. They’re all going to be like, there were 10 digits.
It’s going to be the one with all the phone numbers. I love it. All right.
Did I miss anybody? I don’t think so. Let’s get into it. Finally! Finally! With our topic today of erotic pain, we have a couple of quick definitions.
Most of us are familiar with the words sadist and masochist. Masochism means deriving pleasure from the experience of pain and or humiliation. The word comes from Leopold Sascher Masoch, who lived from 1835 to 1895, who was an Austrian writer.
It bears mentioning that he really disapproved of the use of his name and its association with the practices of perversion. So he is I don’t know if he is masochistic about his name being from masochism, but there he is. Of course, everyday sadism refers to non-criminal minor expressions of the trait in daily life.
That is the definition that we are going with for the purposes of this show. Non-criminal minor expressions of the trait of sadism in daily life. Sadism, of course, being from the Marquis de Sade, who was probably not a whole lot of fun for people that weren’t him and not really into it yet.
Difficult, possibly undiagnosed with a number of things. For today’s terms, minor expressions. Can I mention that sadism and thinking that maybe you might be a sadist, there is a difference between sadism and sexual sadism.
A sexual sadist derives sexual pleasure from other people’s pain or misfortunes. A regular sadist, most people are somewhere on the scale. Have you ever watched, like, Jackass and laughed? You’re a sadist.
Oh, for sure. You took pleasure in someone else’s pain. I mean, honestly, the time they tased that guy’s balls, I laughed my ass off.
So, just… Okay. Sexual sadism. Yeah, let’s go with that.
Thank you for the clarification. I appreciate that. It’s a giant hand trick.
God, I love that trick. The what trick? The way he screamed about those snakes. The gif.
Yeah. Yes. Because that’s Bam Margera, right? That’s getting slapped? Yeah.
He’s, like, terrified of snakes. He has, like, a phobia. And there’s one episode they did where, like, they tricked him into, like, walking into a room that was full of snakes.
His scream was, like, the best. That’s how I know I have a bit of a sadistic streak, because I enjoyed the screaming coming from that man. I discovered I was a sadist at a really unfortunate age.
And because somebody got hurt, and my first reaction was to laugh, because it was funny. And I shouldn’t have been laughing. I should not have laughed at that.
It’s all fun and games until somebody loses an eye. Then it’s hilarious. Then it becomes hilarious.
Yeah. I learned, like, if you’re a sadist and you’re uncomfortable with being a sadist, you can learn how to change your reactions, so that now somebody gets hurt in front of me and my first response is no longer like, you know, I don’t point and laugh. Instead, the first response now is a learned response of, oh, gosh, are you okay? And then I laugh at them later in the privacy of my own home.
They call that masking. Yes. Aggressively.
Aggressively masking. Because it turns out laughing at people not good for your social standing. Not the best choice.
Good for your career, though. It is. I’ve managed to monetize it nicely.
At this point, if you get hurt doing something on the phone with me, I am going to laugh. I’m not even sorry about it. It’s funny.
So you’re basically a sadist just because you take joy and pleasure into seeing somebody’s discomfort? Come on. I mean, that’s the textbook definition. Also, until I learned how to control my reactions to it, I could not control my reactions to it.
People would get hurt and I’d be over there like a little weird ghoul going, hehehe. You know, all the redneck jokes always start off with, hey, y’all, check this shit out. Right? Hold my beer.
Hold my beer. Check this out. I wouldn’t say you’re a sadist just because you enjoy other people’s pain.
I would say you’re a sadist specifically because you enjoy other people’s pain. Well, I didn’t end up in the one percentile on the sadist scale. I think we all did, didn’t we? I think so.
I landed in the five percent. It is a little bit of an occupational hazard. Or a job requirement.
Job benefit. Yeah. Agreed.
That’s right. Okay. So.
We’ve got our definitions and what it is. More or less. And the notion of who enjoys it.
And I want to toss in here that in my time in the scene, as it were, doing terrible things to wonderful people, the sensation ramp-up This is what Becky was asking about earlier. This is what it is, Becky. I would have explained it to you before, but these squirrels would not let me talk.
The sensation ramp-up is the way that I explain to people who don’t understand much at all about the nature of erotic pain. And I’ve said similar things in other venues, but I am willing to bet that most of us, if not all, certainly a lot of us, have seen some sort of exchange in which someone says something alluding to the fact that they enjoy kink or might enjoy erotic pain, and somebody else in the group hauls off and smacks them in the ass or some other part of their body as hard as they can, and then is confounded when the receiver doesn’t react favorably. There’s no ramp there.
It’s zero to, I’m going to just violate your boundaries and slap the shit out of you. And that is not what we’re going for. The sensation ramp is the ramp between when you’re sitting quietly in the middle of an afternoon, doom-scrolling or reading the Sunday paper, if you still have access to one of those, and if somebody comes by and maybe ruffles your hair slightly or leans in and gives you a peck on the cheek, that’s nice.
That’s a level of sensation that is equivalent with what’s going on, and that ramps all the way up to the moments right before your thunderous, mind-blowing, screaming orgasm, at which point a whole lot more sensation is going to feel a whole lot different and a whole lot better. And trying to insert the wrong type of sensation for the wrong vibe is going to get you undesired results in most instances. And so the question of who enjoys it is going to depend on if they’re interested in the ramp at all, how steep they want that ramp to be, how long they want that ramp to be, and how long they want to be on it.
Because the sensation we enjoy right before we orgasm is really different from the sensation that we enjoy when we’re sitting quietly someplace and reading a newspaper. Thank you, Ms. Christopher the GIF, as they say. So, who enjoys it could be some sort of anybody.
I know people who swear they don’t want or enjoy any pain, but they still really, really, really love having a good, solid hair pull, for example. Or they might want their masochism to take a form of humiliation play instead, being forced to… For example, forced to strip down into their panties that they were required to put on and then take the panties off and wiggle their bits and pieces for a couple of lovely ladies who are watching. And that will bring them… Just randomly, Becky, just randomly.
That will bring them a sense of sexual gratification. And so, with those sort of concepts sort of pre-laid out, I would like to open it up a little bit to the mistresses and ask if… If… Or how, or in what capacity, giving, receiving they are into erotic pain. And today, I’m going to start with Miss Krista, if you’re there, because I know that you are our hybrid mistress, and I am super interested in hearing your take on this.
So, if you would, please. What’s your perspective? My perspective on pain, or erotic pain? Is that the question? Yes, ma’am. Well, I absolutely love it.
I love impact play, I love the sensations, and I like going both directions with it. I like to give that butt a nice little sting, and then maybe give it a nice little satin caress afterwards. Or start with the satin, and then go to the pain.
But I do love it, and I think it’s very essential, because I, above all things sexual, love all sensation play. I agree. As I put in a couple of my posts, there is no such thing as pain, it’s only sensation.
That’s optimistic, but I love it. I have a real brief story on that. One time in the middle of winter, I had a Buddhist monk have the fucking audacity to open the window in the dead of winter, near Canada, mind you, and just say, it’s not cold, it’s just sensation.
You’ve just been taught that it’s unpleasant. And we sat there with the whole class freezing, with all of our jackets up, and we weren’t allowed to go get them. But it’s that same point.
It is. I agree. I agree with you.
I don’t know that I agree that it’s just sensation. Well, it is. It is a sensation.
I grew up in the Midwest. I know, it’s hard when you put it to the weather. It frames it totally different in my mind, too.
It’s much easier to swallow with it being pain than being cold weather. Because you’re just like, oh no, this is definitely unpleasant. Oh, the cold and everything hurts then.
I agree. I’m biting my lips to avoid explaining how you can use meditation and Buddhist techniques to make even extreme cold not feel like extreme cold, because it’s all in the mind. It really is just, it’s all sensation, and you can think your way around it and make it into something that it isn’t.
That’s what the monk had the audacity to say. I know. And he only got to say it once because Becky, well, she did really, really bad things to him after the class.
That’s right. How many men just put in the comments, it’s not just a sensation when there’s a lump in your throat that you used to pee with. Oh, wow.
Well then, here you go. Technically, that’s a sensation. How do you feel about it, Harper? What’s your take on the erotic pain thing? Love it.
Love every bit of it. I have friends who have chronic pain issues, and they use BDSM and the ramp of pain and the way that you can flip from motherfucker that hurts to oh, motherfucker that hurts. And so they use BDSM to deal with chronic pain.
Like people who have fibromyalgia, people who have arthritis and advanced hip disease. And as long as you, the dominant, knows what they’ve got and that, you know, okay, if they say a position, they have to shift their position right then, right? Or if they say, ah, cramp, you know, they’re having a cramp, they need to change the position. It’s no different than if you’re doing rope work, and you’re like, oops, okay, it’s time to shift these ropes a little bit before I do permanent, lasting nerve damage.
Same thing, right? But it’s all just sensation. You have to pay attention to what you’re doing, check in constantly, or at least routinely, to be like, okay, are we still? All right, good, we’re still? Yep, okay, good. Every time you ramp up a little bit, you check back in, you check are they breathing, are they conscious? Sometimes states of dissociation can look like unconsciousness, and sometimes there’s good dissociation and there’s bad dissociation.
And so I’ve also known people to use impact and BDSM and you know, pain for mental health issues. So emotional catharsis for embodying what society often says are negative emotions, like chronic pain is negative most of the time. You don’t want to have to deal with that.
So chronic pain, mental illness, you can embody that, and then you can either through a trusted person working with you, obviously, to punish your body in a way for doing this to you, and then to use the fact that, okay, we can mess around with what your brain is doing and what your endorphins are doing, and the switch between ouchy to yummy to give you that really intense emotional release. And whether that’s orgasmic or simply ecstatic, either way, it’s fucking awesome and I love it. I agree.
I agree. I used to play with somebody who had chronic pain issues and would request and we would prep for some things that are probably, yeah, they’re beyond the scope of what we’re talking about tonight, but it was to get the endorphins to offset the pain that his body was providing naturally. And if he was proactive about it, he could get several pain-free days from the endorphin push that he would get from our use of erotic pain in a scene context.
It was amazing, really. If that’s the kind of thing you’re interested in, you’re going to want to find somebody who’s active in your local scene who maybe is also doing body work, like massage or Thai massage or shiatsu or even energetic body work and work with them because your pain responses, if you have chronic pain, your pain response is screwed up. You don’t respond the way that other people respond to pain.
I’ve known people who had such chronic pain that the ramp went real fucking steep, real short, in order to get to the level of something that they could feel that broke through and triggered the endorphins because chronic pain also dulls your endorphins and then it takes so much carefully and skillfully applied so that you’re not hurting the person. You’re just giving them very extreme sensation. Agreed.
I swear, my sports massager is a sadist. She leaves bruises on me, sometimes as big as my hand because she’s got to get into that deep muscle work. I tell her she’s in the wrong business a lot.
Doors always open over here. I love it. How about you Goddess Michelle, what are your thoughts? On erotic pain? Yes, ma’am.
I feel great about it, honestly. As a submissive, whenever you’re right, whenever I’m subbing, I myself enjoy quite a bit of erotic pain. Up to a point.
The thing that I like most about it, as in my dominant role, is figuring out what that limit is for whoever I’m playing with, whoever my sub is. I like finding out what the limit is, and then sometimes pushing past that limit if that’s something that they enjoy, bringing it back. You know how you temper the knob to understand where to go with the sensations? Because we’re talking about the ramp up and the ramp down.
That part I find really enjoyable. But yes, it is one of the things that I truly enjoy. I’m not somebody who necessarily goes towards erotic pain immediately to administer something like that.
I definitely need to take the time to build that groundwork to get there because I notice that that’s not really a thing that I enjoy too much. I wouldn’t necessarily advertise myself as a pain mistress. But if I like you and I have a good time with you, oh yeah, we’re going to figure that out.
Definitely. I wasn’t really into CBT for the longest time, but there was a fella that I interact with quite a bit around here, and I’ve learned so much just knowing him, and that’s kind of how it works for me whenever it comes to the more extreme versions, or the more extreme fetishes and kinks. I may not be into it myself, but if I like you, oh, I’m going to be into it.
And this is kind of one of those. We do have a site that’s for people who are interested in this topic, so to speak. We have Spanked by Phone.
And it’s for people who are into maybe a little gentle. Not so gentle. It ranges from corporal punishment to, yes, impact play.
I personally, I love it. I had to Mayor Mott, the chiefs of the spanking. I had to sort of cool my jets when I got here.
Most of my experience prior to LDW was in real time doing actual physical activities to another physical body in front of me. And I had a learning curve. Not necessarily a long one.
And I do have my niche for sure, but there’s a learning curve about what happens when you’re doing something consensual with somebody that is for the purposes of playing with some erotic pain and the way that intensity sort of switches when you’re talking about it because you’re sort of come out the way they come out and there’s not necessarily a smooth way to grade that. They just sound the way they sound. And I think at the beginning I sounded a little bit dangerous and psychotic when I didn’t mean to.
So that was an interesting learning curve. And when I first started with the company, same hat. And so I did.
I had to kind of draw back and soften the way that people thought about me a fair amount because a bunch of them were like, no, I’m afraid of you. What part of consent was most confusing, bitch? Come over here. Yeah, that didn’t help your cause any.
Bitch, come here. Bitch, come over here. I’m going to tell you about consent.
Yeah. Too scary or too intense or too much varied practice. I don’t know.
I don’t know. I don’t understand why someone would rather turn themselves over to somebody with less training and less knowledge. But I mean, you know, it’s your backside.
So whatever. I got told I was too harsh, too. I did.
People were afraid of me, which is ridiculous because I feel like I’m goofy as fuck. You know, people were. They were afraid of me.
To be abundantly clear, if you want the extreme end, for me on the phone, the ramp is very gentle and it takes a while to build up because I’m not there with you in person and I don’t trust you. I don’t trust you not to screw up somehow. If you’re like, oh, I’m into this a whole lot.
I’m extreme. I’m gonna If you say out loud the thing that you’re going to do that I know is going to harm you, I will tell you to stop. Don’t do I’ve seen people do some things.
I’ve heard people describe things. There’s a very famous tale that I cannot tell you the whole entire story of a client who had called and said he was going to do something and the mistress said, I don’t think that’s such a good idea. And then she heard him do it.
Oh, no. And then there was the sound of like a popping noise. No.
Don’t do that to us. Yeah. A very high pitched And she said, okay, I’m going to hang up.
You should call 911 now. Yeah. And she hung up on him.
So please don’t be stupid. Yeah. And don’t send us pictures.
Please don’t. We don’t need pictures of your stupid. No.
No. I need pictures of your stupid, please. It makes me laugh so hard.
So I will forward those to you then, Harper. I will definitely forward those to you. Oh, my homegirl’s going to love this.
I’m going to send it to her. Do you mind? Right? You’re like, wow, that looks bad. Yes.
I’m going to share with a friend of mine who’s going to laugh at you. I love it. With this one, I think they might be into that.
Oh, God. Will do. It looks like we lost Miss Everly.
I think perhaps she’s got a call. I hope she has a call. Mr. Scant, do you have anything that you’d like to toss in here with the rest of it? You don’t have to, but if you have something to say, you’re welcome.
Oh, I totally agree on the front of I actually am also a Switch, so I enjoy it from both sides. I have to get on some of the other sides still because I already have a few clients that I virtually spank. I agree with everything everyone else has said.
You do have to modulate that in a different way when it’s virtually. I tend to have a few of my own personal toys that I use while I’m doing those calls. I definitely feel like it’s either you’re really into it or you haven’t tried it yet, is my personal opinion when it comes to any kind of pain play.
I agree. I think that us having tons of real-world experience, I think it’s a good thing because over the phone, what makes these sorts of conversations really awesome is the fact that we can describe exactly what’s happening in realistic detail for you, so that if you go to a kink event or you go to a mistress in real life, the things that she’s going to be doing to you are what we just described. We’re accurate, basically.
If you’ve been to a mistress and you’ve experienced this stuff before, then you already know when we describe the stuff that oh, hey, she knows her shit. Agreed. It’s hard to describe something in detail if you’ve never done it.
Yeah. Yes. I concur.
I love how we just dig into these things and get along. I’ve got so many notes and things to talk about and websites and links, and we’ve got 13 minutes left, and six of them are already spoken for. We will have other aspects of this coming up as we go forward.
I wanted to just touch briefly, because that’s my option at this point, which is fine. There are some common techniques that we’re talking about when we’re doing these, and I think that the ladies here are probably well-versed in all of these. We’re talking about erotic pain, the types of things that you’ll typically find in a dungeon or if you’re doing a session with a professional dominant or an amateur dominant.
I had all of these things before I was making a living from it. We talk a lot about impact play, things like spanking, flogging, riding crops, canes, things like that. And again, minor expressions.
These things are not any more stingy or thuddy than you need them to be. If you use them gently, they’ll be gentle. If you don’t, they won’t.
That’s what stingy and thuddy means. That’s what I’m doing. Oh, okay.
I love it. That’s a good, perfect segue. The two typical types of erotic pain and I have asked people directly when we’re getting ready to play, sting or thud.
Do you like that stingy kind of zippy sensation that comes from like the snap of a wet towel perhaps or more of the thuddy sensation that you get when you’re making the uh sound into the fan and beating on your chest. That’s more of a thuddy sensation. When you’re playing with impact, you’re either going to get sting or thud or both.
Or if you prefer other kinds of play, neither. Sensory deprivation and sensory enhancement. Sensory deprivation blindfold earplugs gag.
Sometimes people get mummified or wrapped up in sometimes bandages or a blanket or a rug. Be so careful with that. Don’t be rolling people up.
People get overheated and claustrophobic and all kinds of shit. Be careful with that. Be careful with all of it.
Sensory enhancement flashing lights sounds in the earphones tickling. Tickling can be a form of erotic pain. It’s a ha ha ha ha ha.
It’s a painful thing. It’s not necessarily good. Temperature play, ice cubes warm compresses CBT which is a lovely and many splendid thing.
Cock and ball torment can be delightful. It’s one of the few things that I cannot test out for myself because I don’t have the plumbing for it, but boy do I enjoy doing it to other people. And then of course there’s the psychological and emotional aspect of mind fuckery which the illustrious Miss Becky and I will be covering later this summer.
And future Femdom Friday. Indeed. I don’t want to let go without touching on safety real quick.
It’s super important. First way to keep yourself safe is to make sure that you negotiate everything. Make sure you understand.
Make sure that you ask questions. Don’t be afraid to look new. Nobody wants to look new.
And I get it but don’t pretend to know things that you don’t know. Don’t agree to things that you don’t understand because you might end up having an unpleasant day. Yes, safety first.
Or safety third, as they say because it gets people’s attention. And have a safe word even if it’s standard red, yellow, green. Green of course.
Go, go, go. Yellow I need to talk to you. This is a little uncertain, unfriendly, uncomfortable or if I’m swinging a flogger at you and you’re standing on pebbles and you can’t think about anything except the rock under your foot, I need to know that because I’m working my ass off back here.
If you’re not thinking about anything but the pebble under your foot, we’re having a bad time. And then red is stop. This is over.
We need to knock it off. We’re done for the day for the session for the time we can reconvene and maybe start again another day but for now we’re done. That’s how I run them.
Some people will often toss in an orange for between a yellow and a red like I really need you to stop what you’re doing right now but I want to adjust what we’ve got going on and then continue. So those things are they’re imperative to me. You shouldn’t go forward without them.
If you’re the one doing things to people or receiving, you should know what’s being used on you. If you’re the one swinging it, using it, implementing it, make sure you know how to use it. Don’t let your ego take you into bad territory if you don’t know what you’re doing with it.
If you’re swinging a flogger and you don’t know where the tips of that thing are going to land, put it down. You’ve got no business winging it at somebody else. My role on that is I never use something that I’ve never had used on me.
Me either. That way you know. I would also point out that if you got your kink idea or instructions for how to do this thing on chat GPT, do not do that.
It is unsafe. Any AI, like the AI summary on Google, don’t trust that either. Go to a reputable blog.
Go to a person with actual experience. Don’t just blindly trust the internet at this point because the AIs hallucinate and also they are scraping off of everything on the internet and some people are shitheads who will deliberately put in there unsafe instructions because they think it’s funny. An AI doesn’t know the difference between satire necessarily and an actual think piece.
That’s right. There’s that. Don’t use AI.
And another thing, as dominants, we need to be able to trust the submissives. Trust that they are actually going to use the safe word that we give them or that they give us, whichever. Don’t think that as a submissive you are somehow proving your worth to us by toughing it out when you are all of a sudden in a tough situation.
We really need to be able to trust that you are going to A, know your limits and B, speak up for yourself when you need to. The only time I ever turned down a play, like a play session at an open public dungeon, was a group of my friends were like, oh, you should play with this guy over here. And I was like, really? Okay.
Great. Why? And it’s like, oh, he’s into some edge play and he has no limits. Move.
He leans into it. And I was like, nope. Nope.
Untrustworthy. Cannot play. Nope.
Refuse. Flat refusal. Yeah, my… This is a hill I’d die on.
If you tell me that you have no limits, you are either too new, too dangerous, or too stupid for me to get into anything with you. The first one we can fix by using our words, but too dangerous or too stupid? I’m not interested in that. I don’t need any of that.
You don’t have any limits. You don’t have any damn stats. You can’t fix either one of those.
No. You can’t fix stupid. Yeah.
I want to do something really horrible that’s going to harm you. You don’t… Well, that’s not what I meant. It’s like, well, you told me no limits.
About the safest way… That’s what you said. About the safest way for fellows to indulge the urge towards things that are realistically, like in real life, don’t do that. But if you want to indulge the fantasy of it, hey, we’re great for that.
That? Yes. Fantasy? Absolutely. Jerk off to it.
That’s wonderful. Attempt it in real life? Please don’t. No.
I’ll be as sadistic as you want in fantasy. Right? I enjoy that. Yeah.
We’re not trying to go to jail. Exactly. Or the hospital.
Thanks. Oh, God. Right? Because how do you explain that to the ER? You don’t want to be the one going to the emergency room and you hear the nurses talking about you and laughing at you.
You don’t want that. Some people are into that, but every ER… Every emergency room, every urgent care facility in the entire freaking world has a box of objects retrieved from people’s butts. Oh, God.
Yes. Yes. Oh, my God.
Yeah. So when we tell you, hey, maybe you shouldn’t stick that up your butt and you go, it’ll be fine. Yeah, no.
And this is why we say safety first. And you should have some first aid supplies on you, among which is glucose. Have some food.
In addition to bandages and stuff, put some food in your first aid box if you’re going to do BDSM stuff. Specifically chocolate. It can help you reset.
So safety first, aftercare, because we are dangerously close to the end here. Aftercare, aftercare, aftercare, aftercare, aftercare, aftercare, and I should mention you should do aftercare. Check in.
If I play with somebody new, even if they tell me they don’t need it, I won’t get into anything more than on a scale of 1 to 10, like a 2 or 3 level of intensity, unless they agree that I am going to contact them and will expect a response at their next personal convenience for a week after. My personal drop time when all the fun endorphins and everything sort of deplete and I don’t have enough for what I need is about three days. If I play Saturday night, if I play hard Saturday night, Tuesday I’m going to feel like shit.
That’s how that works. And that can bring feelings of, it’s called drop, which we can talk about later, but that can bring feelings of inadequacy or it wasn’t real and you get imposter syndrome and things seem doomed and it can lead to a really unpleasant frame of mind. But the simple check-in, after care, how are you doing, are you all right, everything good, just that knowledge of that somebody else that was on that shared experience with you is still with you can make a whole bunch of difference.
Obviously, I hope it’s obvious if it’s a physical need, if you’ve maybe caused a little abrasion or maybe a bruise or had a little contusion or something that needs a little bit of attention, ask about that. Be honest with it. Give a report, give an update.
And if something really goes wrong and something terrible happens, don’t wait, make the call. Get the appropriate people involved. I’m looking at the chats.
Just because the ER has a box of embarrassing things doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re going to laugh directly in your face. They’re going to do their best not to laugh at you because they want people to come in when they need something. They don’t attach your photo to it or anything.
They just stick it in the box. You just become part of the lure. You really don’t want to be the person adding to that box.
If it goes in your butt, it needs to have a flange, please and thank you. Yes, it needs to be made for the thing. Put a condom on it, for fuck’s sake.
Do not be the reason that Lemmy Winks plays in the background. Oh, God. Oh, my goodness.
Lemmy Winks, Lemmy Winks. Oh, my God. Don’t be that guy.
Don’t be Lemmy Winks. Oh, God. Put the fucking gif in there.
Oh, my God. You must go forward. You can’t go back.
Sadly, we are… On that note… Yeah, on that note, Lemmy Winks, we are just about out of time. Does anybody have anything else that they want to announce? Anything coming up? Don’t forget, it’s Miss Crissa’s Mistress of the Month for the next week. Get your five free minutes.
Get your free phone sex, folks. No reason not to. Y’all better pay attention to the Daily Cock blog because information about the sissy pageant will be dropping very soon.
Oh, and we’ve got the… Very, very soon. We’ve got a Pass the Penis little Mistress promo going on. If you do Pass the Penis with the ladies of Femdom Fridays, the participants will be sharing some goodies with you.
Yes. Perhaps some naughty photos. A little incentive.
Something a little treat to say thank you. Plus, it’s a really fun time. And what else am I missing? Goddess Michelle, anything else going on over here? I’m going to add the link to our Pass the Penis promotion, which is going on now until the last day of summer, which I believe is September 22nd.
Yes. But I’ll put those details in. I think Miss Becky just jumped on the additional prize train too, didn’t you? I did.
I was here the week before so I didn’t know about it, but as soon as I found out about it, I was like, I want in. Excellent. Thank you, Mayor Mott.
1-800-601-6975. That’s right. We appreciate that.
We’ll get you pretty much anywhere you need to go. Indeed. Is it penis? Does it say penis in there? I don’t know.
I just read the bird. That’d be hilarious. That would be awesome.
806 penis. I love it. All right.
Stay tuned for all of the latest penis news. Next episode. Who’s got next week? Me.
What are we talking about? We are going to be talking about the benefits of submissives from a mistress point of view. I happened to look up traits and characteristics of submissives and I’m like, they be ragging on them. I read one article that was just like, they had low self-esteem and bad early life experiences and just, you know, just some misinformation and I just wanted to fill their cup and talk about how they benefit us as, you know, the compliment and just how beneficial their own psychology can be.
Can I add one thing to that? Submissive, you cannot submit out of weakness. It is always done out of strength. And if you think that you’re submitting because you’re weak, then you have to go and re-evaluate your idea of what submissiveness is.
Agreed. I just had, has reminded me to remind you all that if you’re a late night lurker from midnight to 6 a.m. Eastern, dispatched calls are just $2.50 a minute right now. So get in on that.
If you can’t get contact free, you may as well get it cheap. Hour-long calls, yes, $150 for a full hour. It’s a bargain.
Add more of us. It’s like an extra $1.60 a minute per extra mistress. Somebody online said they wanted to do a 40 mistress call.
The chaos would be epic. It would be awesome. I love it.
All righty. So thanks for listening to Femdom Fridays. I’m Mistress Hadley, your benevolently malevolent dream dom.
And Oh yeah, my blog is I will dominate you.com, which I never mentioned earlier. The rest of it, find me here or email me at hadleyenchantrixempire.com. Uh, I’m Mr. Hadley here benevolently malevolent dream dom. And you can find us live right here every Friday night at 9 PM Eastern on the Enchantrix Empire discord server, but she must be 18 years or older to join us.
You can also listen to the replay every Saturday on your favorite podcast platform. Thank you ladies. Thank you audience for showing up tonight, making it fun.
We appreciate you. Have a good night. Hadley out.
Hi everyone. Great to see you. Have a wonderful week.
Great show. Nighty night.
